Wicked Garden
by Stefan Twoflower Gagne
Summary: A view deep inside Kodachi Kunou's existence... which she gets to take a long hard look at herself, as well.


Ranma 1/2 : Wicked Garden  
  
A Ranma 1/2 FanFic by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne  
  
(All characters copyright Rumiko-san, obviously. If I ever  
even considered claiming that these were my own characters  
I'd probably be thrown into a small cell where I'd be forced  
to eat my own tankubon to live.)  
  
-=-  
  
Thunder cracked high above Nerima's skyline. Storms don't  
usually pour down this strong over the peaceful suburb of Tokyo;  
but there are rare moments which require them, such as the death  
of an emperor, the destruction of a dark god or the creation of a  
creature of pure evil.  
  
Since this was only similar to the third choice, it was a  
light to medium downpour. But the girl who ran through the rain  
didn't care. Rain was the giver of life and the source of all  
hope. Rain in the desert would save a man from dehydration; rain  
in the damned creek would build the beaver a home.  
  
Rain could also destroy, with torrential floods that can  
sweep entire countries into the sea, dooming many lives to a  
watery grave. It can drum up storms that can destroy the  
mightiest vessels, dumping cargo and crew into the depths below.   
It was, after all, the thing that had recently taken a life dear  
to her.  
  
Fairly unusual symbolism for a seven year old to think  
about, but she was in an unusual state of mind and therefore this  
is perfectly acceptable. Normally, she was much brighter...  
cheerier. Now, her happy yellow and white school uniform which  
she prized so dearly was ripped, torn and soaked. She didn't  
care today, however. On any other day she'd want her mother to  
wash the slightest stain out of her clothes, but that simply  
wasn't...  
  
Sasuke called for her through the rain, his tiny voice  
carrying far. Brother dear has picked that one well, she  
thought, considering that the little man, even at his young age,  
could scream that far. She allowed herself this single normal  
thought in an otherwise unbroken chain of dark thoughts and sad  
memories, just for a change of pace. She didn't have the right  
frame of mind to reply to Sasuke or go home, however. She did  
NOT want to return to her home, the place where they still had  
the body of her mother.  
  
So, Kodachi ran on, through the residential district, and  
into the park. She made no sounds; there was no real way to  
check if she was crying, due to the weather. The only noises she  
made were the splap-splaps of her school uniform shoes upon the  
pavement, splap-splap.  
  
Splap-splap. The rain continued, the distance between her  
and the funeral grew.  
  
Splap-splap and nobody really noticed this girl running  
through Nerima Park at near-midnight, or cared.  
  
Splap-splop-sp, and she paused, sound pattern throwing her  
pacing off.  
  
She had entered a most unusual place... her train of  
thought, an endless stream of self-hatred and panic stopped at  
the station to let everybody off. She looked around in wonder,  
noticing her surroundings in detail for the first time this  
evening.  
  
A rose garden. A lovely, wonderful rose garden... roses  
planted in rows, roses planted in triangles, roses planted in  
patterns of kanji characters, spelling out the name of the park.   
White criss-cross wood kept the roses in line, forming perfectly  
symmetrical paths, a grid that created square patches of life  
fenced in by the living worms and ants in the dirt paths.  
  
She stared at the garden, mesmerized, studying the geometry,  
the simple beauty of the rose. It was perfect; a symbol of life,  
something that grows from a start...  
  
And finishes. Because one of the roses, one near her feet,  
had died, its happy red color dyed a permanent black. It was in  
a small indentation in the ground, and lie in a puddle of muddy  
water. Overwatered. The very same liquid which helped it grow  
had executed it, turned it into this horrible...  
  
But... no. Even death didn't destroy the beauty of the  
rose! Sure, the color was different, the petals wilted slightly,  
but the wilting and color set it apart from the other roses.   
Perhaps, even, it was MORE beautiful than the others. Unique.   
Lovely.  
  
All these roses should be black, she thought, and in her  
mind, they were. All wonderfully intricate patterns of nature,  
coated black. Beautiful.  
  
And for the first time, her fear and sadness over her  
mother's death didn't matter. She had seen both life and death,  
and saw how wonderful they were. Pretty, in form and function.   
Her mother had simply gone from being the pretty red rose to the  
pretty black one. The cycle was complete, with no loss of energy  
or vitality.  
  
So, Kodachi laughed. And laughed. And laughed.  
  
She danced her way home, twirling her gymnastics ribbon in  
one hand, and clutching the dead rose in another. She laughed  
the entire way. The little girl that didn't laugh as much, the  
one that wanted to wear the pretty clothes and missed her dear  
mother didn't come home that night, but Kodachi did.  
  
*  
  
Now, zoom in on an older, more mature Kodachi. One with  
goals and plots to get to those goals, one with logic  
capabilities and a witty way with words. Still as disturbed, but  
now in an older, larger form.  
  
Kodachi peeled the thick rubber gloves off her hands before  
they completely melted through, examining her new botanical  
creation once more. It wasn't perfect... the poisoned thorns  
could only cripple, not kill. The petals weren't great in  
number. It was lopsided. But the pollen, no, the pollen should  
work.  
  
"It will serve its purpose," Kodachi noted, carefully  
watering it, having measured out the exact amount of water it  
would need earlier via a graduated cylinder. Mustn't overwater.   
Dead plants were wonderful in a way, but less useful.  
  
She had three main sections to her garden, three triangular  
slices of the circle. The top, if circles had a top, was  
dedicated to normal plants of many colors, most of them dark.   
She kept a wide variety of flowers here, to provide aesthetic  
appeal to the greenhouse. Something to look at and smile.  
  
The next section contained dead and dying plants, decaying  
into crumbled brown and black forms of compost. It smelled  
slightly and had flies buzzing around it. She kept her failed  
creations and long lost flowers here, to provide aesthetic appeal  
to the greenhouse. Something to look at and smile.  
  
The final section was more work oriented, containing her  
current projects. There was a thick wire mesh cage over it, not  
because she feared others stealing her babies, but so her babies  
wouldn't accidentally harm anyone who approached. Some of them  
could be quite assertive.  
  
"Sasuke!" she called out, lifting the potted flower from her  
work bench to her test area, powering on the various computers  
and scanning devices that would keep her updated of the plant's  
condition and chemical reactions.  
  
Sasuke hurried out of Kunou Mansion, scurrying down the  
twisted path that led to Kodachi's greenhouse. He stumbled a  
bit, being the world's clumsiest ninja, but eventually his  
grasping fingers found the door handle and he dashed inside.  
  
"Hai!" Sasuke said, striking a battle pose. Kodachi usually  
frowned on theatrics from the hired help, but it kept Sasuke  
happy and manageable. As long as the ninja lived in his own  
little cloud of denial, he would serve well.  
  
"I have another for you to test," Kodachi said, pulling on  
her filtration mask. "Come here."  
  
Sasuke broke into a sweat. "Umm, Kodachi-sama, are you sure  
that's wise? After all, I still have those horrible hives below  
the waist from the last plant I tested, and I only came out of  
the coma yesterday--"  
  
"Nonsense! Do you not think that I'd take into account the  
various chemicals swimming in your blood, dear Sasuke?" Kodachi  
laughed. "Ohohohoho! Think better of me, servant. This will  
not interfere with my other tests. Come."  
  
Sasuke slumped, and began the death march to the testing  
area. "Inhale or touch?" he asked, examining Kodachi's recent  
creation.  
  
"Inhale, please," Kodachi suggested. "Petals only.   
Touching the stem would be near-fatal. It's a defense mechanism  
against anybody who wanted to pluck my flowers."  
  
Sasuke muttered a few quick prayers, and inhaled the flower.   
  
"Physical reactions normal," Kodachi nodded. "No sweats, no  
hives, no rashes, no combustion. Emotional rea--"  
  
"WHEEEEHOOOOOOooo!!!!!" Sasuke called out, doing a  
handstand. "Face me, enemy! I am Sasuke the invincible, and  
I'll strike you down with my mighty ninja whatsit!"  
  
"Emotional reactions on target," Kodachi smiled. "I believe  
my Happy Flower is ready for use."  
  
"Have at you! Take that! Nyaha! Who're you calling a  
dunce?" Sasuke asked, facing down an invisible enemy. The ninja  
span in place to face the enemy, until his spinning slowed, and  
he collapsed into a sleepy heap on the floor.  
  
"Another smashing success. Perhaps this will help me laugh  
again," Kodachi said, pulling the filtration mask off. "It's  
been so long since I've had a proper laugh. Perhaps even  
minutes."  
  
Kodachi leaned forward, inspecting her lovely creation a  
bit. She nodded in thanks to the mighty flower, and inhaled its  
wonderful fragrance.  
  
The woman laughed inside her head for the next seven hours.  
  
*  
  
Ranma and Kodachi, atop an anonymous mountain, facing an  
anonymous sea. The waves crash below in perfectly symmetric  
patterns, clouds flickering overhead like undercranked 1930s  
films.  
  
The two lovers, standing symmetrical to the point of the  
mountain, the dividing line between the two similar halves of the  
picture. They turn in unison to face each other. They both have  
black hair. They both have black clothing.  
  
"I will love you for eternity," they say, in stereo.  
  
"I've never been happier before," they continue.  
  
"And I can never be happier again," in conclusion.  
  
They lean, cheek to cheek, down the meridian of fantasy as  
the duplex waves surge below. A moment eternal, at least until  
Sasuke slaps Kodachi around.  
  
Kodachi whipped out her ribbon and had the boy lashed up to  
the metal greenhouse supports in an instant.  
  
"G-Gomennasai, Kodachi-sama!" Sasuke blurted. "When I came  
to, you were laughing uncontrollably and foaming at the mouth,  
and I was worried, so I--"  
  
"There are EASIER ways of rousing a human than physical  
abuse!" Kodachi said, pointing a gymnastics club at him. She  
hesitated, thinking. "Although, the easier ways aren't as fun...  
alright, I retract my anger."  
  
"Phew," Sasuke exhaled, wiping his forehead with his only  
free arm. Then his face shifted to a look of concern. "Kodachi-  
sama, are you sure you're alright? You don't look healthy--"  
  
"I was FINE! And having a perfectly nice dream, no thanks  
to you. Go inside and give yourself twenty lashings."  
  
"B-But you said you weren't angry!"  
  
"I changed my mind," Kodachi said, pulling on the ribbon to  
slacken it, freeing Sasuke. "Now, GO!"  
  
Sasuke mumbled seventeen apologies on his way out the door,  
scrambling to get inside and beat the snot out of himself for his  
mistress.  
  
"It's so hard to get good help these days," Kodachi cliched,  
and stuffed her face back into her flower to laugh again.  
  
*  
  
Once again, the two perfect lovers, Ranma and Kodachi, in  
symbiosis, feeding upon each other's needs and wants. This time  
in a non-symmetric world, where there was nothing but their own  
flesh and minds, bonded together in pleasure. At least, in  
Kodachi's mind they were.  
  
But something was amiss. There came a rapping, a tap tap  
tapping, tapping at the greenhouse door. Ranma faded, the flesh  
pulling apart as Kodachi was roused from her drug induced dream,  
until the only sound was the tapping.  
  
Kodachi peeled herself off the floor ("I really must bring a  
cot in here next time I experiment," she thought) and turned.  
  
There, at the glass door of the greenhouse, was a little  
urchin of a girl. Probably one of the neighborhood brats.  
  
"Shoo! Go away!" Kodachi suggested, charging up to the  
door. The little girl, terror in her eyes, fled.  
  
Honestly, I thought one of Sasuke's jobs was to PREVENT such  
peasants from entering our sanctum, Kodachi thought. She turned  
back to her flower, but before she could make contact with it,  
saw the clock.  
  
9:11.  
  
"Oh, heavens!" she exclaimed. "I'm late for school!"  
  
*  
  
Nobody at St. Hebereke had the nerve to tell Kodachi to go  
stand in the hall for being tardy.  
  
She sat in chemistry class, bored, as usual. She took the  
textbook home on day one and read it, which helped her  
tremendously on homework, but made this silly obligatory  
classtime a needless waste. However, her principal, one of the  
few people in school that stood up to her, declined on her appeal  
to skip the class.  
  
"You can't read a book and claim to be a master of its  
teachings," the principal said, stirring her tea in a most  
unnerving manner. "Request denied."  
  
"But Kouchou-sensei, I know it ALL now," Kodachi pleaded.   
"There is nothing I can learn in that class. I have assimilated  
the entire text they are to use..."  
  
"Haven't you ever considered the possibility of something  
creeping up that wasn't in the text?" the principal asked,  
sipping her tea.  
  
"It is unlikely. In my entire high school career, not once  
has a teacher strayed from the text," Kodachi said. "Very  
unimaginative lot."  
  
"Say I was to let you out of class. One day, I don't know,  
maybe your teacher goes insane and decides to try something  
creative," the principal said, in a tone clearly indicating her  
own loathing of the faculty. "You would have lost the one rare  
moment in which you could learn something new."  
  
"It is a low chance, Kouchou-sensei."  
  
"But there is a chance, ne?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"How about this," the principal suggested. "You have my  
permission to stare off into space, or doodle, or play Super  
Famicom or anything you want in class. Ignore the teacher, if  
you wish. But you have two rules; you MUST stay in the room, and  
you cannot disturb the learning of the others who have not read  
the book. Would that do?"  
  
Kodachi considered. "Hai," she answered.  
  
"Good," the principal smiled warmly. "You have talent,  
Kodachi, and probably could TEACH that class. But you need to  
treat potential knowledge like a selection of fine diamonds.   
They may all sparkle, but there will be one that catches your eye  
which you wouldn't have seen if you settled for one gem."  
  
"KODACHI!" the teacher called, breaking Kodachi's memory  
concentration.  
  
"Hai, sensei?" Kodachi answered, smiling.  
  
"Were you dozing off in class??" Onsen-Mark asked.  
  
"Hai, sensei," she replied, still smiling.  
  
"Well, don'... well... whatever," he grumbled, returning to  
his teachings. How he hated that student. Who ever heard of  
having PERMISSION to ignore the teacher?? Unthinkable! Even his  
last job, as bizarre as it was, didn't match that. His old job  
exceeded it, actually, but... oh, nevermind.  
  
"Anyway, as I was saying," Onsen-Mark continued, "When  
combined in this sequence, it reveals the first potentially  
viable evidence of genetic language."  
  
Kodachi looked up at the word. Language? It didn't even  
appear in the text. Where was the old fool going?  
  
"You probably read about this already in the current events  
section of the paper," Onsen-Mark continued, "But since it's  
relevant to the class, I figured I'd bring it up anyway and  
assign some homework on-- STOP GROANING! Better. Anyway, as you  
can see, if you compare THIS section of the DNA code to THIS  
one... a pattern evolves."  
  
"What does the pattern mean?" Kodachi asked.  
  
Onsen-Mark nearly bit the end of his tongue off in surprise.   
Kodachi? ASKING QUESTIONS? Jump on that, man! It's like a  
million yen bill in the middle of the street!  
  
"Ah, Kodachi-chan, it's very simple!" Onsen-Mark beamed.   
"Scientists have discovered this gene sequence in two locations  
of basic human DNA. They seem to be the bookends for a sequence  
that handles languages. An experiment was conducted to prove  
this; when the code was changed, the subject lost most of its  
speech and understanding skills, but could still react well  
enough to show that no IQ was lost. There is a chance that this  
sequence controls language and speech."  
  
"Interesting," Kodachi said.  
  
Onsen-Mark could cry. She found it interesting! He  
continued on. "Now, this could just be a wild coincidence. The  
medical evaluation wasn't done by a well-established laboratory.   
But from what has been seen, these sequences might very well be  
the key to understanding... well, how we understand each other."  
  
Kodachi smiled.  
  
*  
  
Sasuke dared not move, as the robotic needle descended  
slowly towards his uncovered arm, guided by the sure and slender  
hand of Kodachi Kunou.  
  
"Uh... is a blood sample absolutely necessary?" Sasuke  
gulped. "I hate needles..."  
  
"Oh, relax," Kodachi laughed. "This won't hurt me a bit!"  
  
"Ah, good. Wait. Won't hurt yo--"  
  
Kodachi thrust forward on the joystick, driving the needle  
several inches into Sasuke's arm. Sasuke's eyes bugged out and  
he would have likely shot through the ceiling, if not for the  
iron restraints on his body.  
  
"Whoops! My bad," Kodachi admitted, and withdrew the needle  
some to take her blood. "Don't worry, I don't think it punctured  
the bone."  
  
"Qui... quite alright," Sasuke tried to smile, before  
passing out.  
  
Mental note : obtain test subject with better stamina,  
Kodachi thought, extracting the blood into a vial. Her computers  
automatically scanned Sasuke's DNA.  
  
Kodachi studied the readouts. The sequence was there,  
alright... very, very easy to miss, though. It sandwiched a  
complicated section of DNA, like a pair of buns around a meaty  
center of genetic code.  
  
On a whim, Kodachi made a few soft copies of the DNA  
sequence, scrambled one slightly and injected it back into  
Sasuke's blood.  
  
"Oh, dear Sasuke? Wake up," Kodachi requested sweetly.  
  
Sasuke stirred. He opened his eyes, looking around. "Gonoe  
aeongo orngo?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, wonderful!" Kodachi exclaimed, clasping her hands to  
her chest. "Simply wonderful. You can't understand me at all,  
can you?"  
  
"Oaognag!" Sasuke exclaimed. "Xnxvooe erong! Oeeogng!!!"  
  
"Well, that's fun to know," Kodachi said, reloading the  
needle and jabbing it back in Sasuke's arm. He yelped with the  
incorrect vowel, and a look of confusion spread over his face.  
  
"What happened?" Sasuke asked.  
  
"Hmmm. The changes occur almost instantly. That seems  
impossible," Kodachi said. "But, evidence is evidence... thank  
you, Sasuke, you may go now."  
  
Kodachi turned to her work table, examining a growing rose  
she had been considering splicing into twin roses. Now she had a  
better idea.  
  
"Umm, Kodachi-sama? I can't get out of the restraints..."  
Sasuke whined, pulling at the chair which bound him.  
  
"Details, details. You're a ninja, escape," Kodachi  
suggested. She took the flower over to her work table, made some  
quick adjustments, and injected the DNA stream into the plant.  
  
"Hello, can you hear me?" she asked the flower.  
  
Sasuke, working his way out of the chair, blinked. This was  
the first time he had seen Kodachi-sama talk to her plants.   
Well, no, but it was the first time she seemed to expect a reply.  
  
"Hmm. If you can hear me, spread your petals a bit," she  
suggested.  
  
The petals widened, as did Sasuke's eyes.  
  
Kodachi smiled. "Wonderful... it's a shame you don't have  
more muscle than that, little flower... but yours is not the role  
I will design. But I thank you for helping me, and being the  
first of my babies to have... language."  
  
With that, she bowed. Sasuke scrambled out of his chair and  
out of the greenhouse, running in fear. To date, he had never  
left the greenhouse in a wholly stable frame of mind... or at  
walking speed.  
  
*  
  
Kunou sneered at the array of takeout food in front of him,  
with a look of visible contempt.  
  
THIS? This was to be his evening's meal? It made no sense.   
It was peasant food, the kind of thing prepared in fifteen  
minutes or less by greasy workers trying to scrape by on short  
order cook's wages!  
  
Where was his feast? The family dinner, lovingly prepared  
by his skilled yet demented sister?  
  
"I will not eat such slop!" Kunou said, overturning his  
plate.  
  
"Hey, boy!" Kunou's father exclaimed. "You're wasting food  
by doing that. Cut it out. Hmm, maybe the noodles on top are  
still good..."  
  
Kunou sighed. Father dear didn't care one iota where the  
food came from, as long as it was food. That's what working  
among the lower peoples will do for you.  
  
"It needs more pineapple, but not bad," the father shrugged,  
adjusting his chopsticks. "I like takeout. It's a good change  
of pace. I hear there's a new hawaiian pizza takeout joint down  
the road from the house, we should order from them next."  
  
"Where is Kodachi?" Kunou asked. "I have yet to see my  
sister once today. Usually she is so happy to present dinner,  
even if just to watch me try to figure out what part of it has  
been poisoned."  
  
"That's an unhealthy habit, that," the elder Kunou said,  
picking through a cardboard box of noodles. "It's very  
unhygienic to put poison in your food. I'd rather have takeout,  
on the whole."  
  
"I miss the taste of some of her lesser poisons. Hmmm. I  
believe it is time to get to the bottom of this mystery.   
SASUKE!" Kunou called.  
  
Sasuke appeared in a blast of smoke, striking his usual  
battle stance. "HAI, Tatewaki-sama!"  
  
"Please, good Sasuke, no smoke. We are eating."  
  
"Gomen, sir. How may I assist you?"  
  
Kunou smiled. The little ninja was showing more enthusiasm  
than usual. He approved. "I would like to know," Kunou started,  
"Where sister dear has gone off to. This is the first evening in  
many weeks that she has not prepared nor attended dinner."  
  
"Kodachi-sama is busy in her greenhouse," Sasuke reported.  
  
"What, again?" the Principal asked. "Oy, that makes the  
third day in a row she's gone straight to the greenhouse after  
school."  
  
"I believe I will investigate," Kunou said.  
  
"Shall I box your meal to warm later, sir?" Sasuke asked.  
  
"Bah. Throw it to the dogs," Kunou spat, grabbing his  
bokken and marching out of the dining hall.  
  
"We already fed the dog, Tatchy!" the Principal called. "Oh  
well. For the best. I'll have his share, Sasuke."  
  
*  
  
Kunou peered into the depths of the greenhouse, through the  
glass. Kodachi didn't SEEM to be in there... but of course,  
plants and equipment blocked Kunou's vision. Therefore,  
firsthand investigation would be a wise idea.  
  
Tatewaki opened the door and entered cautiously, bokken  
drawn.  
  
"BOO!" Kodachi yelled, popping up out of a patch of vines,  
dramatically underlit.  
  
Kunou didn't flinch. "Cute, dear sister."  
  
"Ohohohohohoho!" Kodachi laughed. "Well, it was worth a  
try. So, what brings you to my humble nursery, brother?"  
  
"I would inquire as to the reason of your absence. You have  
not entered the mansion itself except for sleep over the last few  
days," Kunou stated. "I am worried about your health."  
  
"No, you're probably worried about your stomach," Kodachi  
said, poking playfully at the kendo enthusiast's gut. "Well,  
don't worry. The fruits of my labor are ripening. In fact,  
perhaps you could be of use in testing them."  
  
"How so?" Kunou asked, narrowing his eyes. He did not like  
to be used as a guinea pig. That was Sasuke's job.  
  
"Well, you fancy yourself the swordsman, ne?" Kodachi asked,  
stepping out of the vine patch to gather up a pot of dirt at her  
work table.  
  
"A sword has a point. Do you?" Kunou asked.  
  
"Ohohohohohohohoho! That's a good one. Yes, I do. I'd  
like you to spar with one of my babies," Kodachi said, placing  
the pot at Kunou's feet.  
  
"Spar? With a plant?" Kunou asked, unbelieving. "Surely  
you jest. A mere puff of greenery is no match for the great  
Tatewaki Kunou."  
  
"Well, this is no mere puff," Kodachi smiled. She took a  
watering jug off the table. "Observe. Common water, with my  
newly developed formula RS9."  
  
With that, Kodachi poured a bit of water into the pot.  
  
A green stem literally tore its way out of the soil,  
stretching and growing until the stem base had outgrown the pot.   
It flopped around, a gigantic vine with a sucker-leaf tip,  
thrashing around with a clump of dirt at its 'feet'.  
  
"Adorable," Kunou stated. "So what does it do?"  
  
"It obeys my voice," Kodachi smiled. "My darling, please  
entangle and disarm my brother, NOW! ATTACK!"  
  
Kunou automatically shifted to a defensive position as the  
tentacle-like vine snapped to attention, flowing its way through  
the air towards him. He stepped forward and slashed at the  
vine's target area, bisecting it neatly.  
  
"Well, that was enjoyable," Kunou said, lowering his bokken.   
"But I think you still have work to do to even dream of defeating  
the great Tatewaki Ku--"  
  
The vine tangled around Kunou's left arm. He raised his  
right arm to slash it again, wondering how it was still capable  
of movement, but found he couldn't raise his right arm; the other  
half of the vine, leaking green fluid but still alive, had  
ensnared his right hand.  
  
"Touche," Kodachi smiled. "Ohohohohohoho! What a wonderful  
toy, my darling vine..."  
  
"Charming. Could you please tell your plant to let me down  
now?" Kunou asked. "It's staining my clothing."  
  
"You mock me," Kodachi flatly said. "I don't like that."  
  
"I do not mock, I merely complain about my rough treatment,"  
Kunou denied.  
  
"Passable. Alright, dearies, you may set my brother down  
now. Give him a good pat on the head. That's a good vine! GOOD  
vine! Let's see about repotting you..."  
  
Kunou shook his head. His sister and her strange ideas.   
Nonsense, all of it. He marched out.  
  
*  
  
Late that night, Kodachi slept. Her patented Happy Flower  
had its place of honor at her bedside... for the last few days,  
it was the only way she was able to get to sleep.  
  
She didn't mind. Often in the past, she'd have to devise  
sleep aids, and at least this one guaranteed her good dreams.   
Such as this one, a wonderful vision of her and Ranma as king and  
queen of all of Japan, with the various hussies that pretended to  
be worthy of Ranma at her feet, bowing and begging forgiveness  
for living.  
  
Yes, there was Shampoo, that barbarian from China. The one  
who could barely speak the language, whereas Kodachi had mastered  
it. Then there was Ukyou, the COOK, such a lowly social position  
to begin with, who also fancied herself a warrior. She was in  
her place now... then, Akane Tendo. Useless in all respects of  
the word, clumsy, incompetent. Unworthy of Ranma. Lastly, that  
horrid little pig-tailed girl, who Kodachi was almost certain  
wanted her Ranma-sama; why else would she change her name to  
match his, unless she was truly obsessed? And then there was  
that strange little girl, the one with the white...  
  
Wait. Strange little girl? Kodachi stepped off her throne  
to face this girl, grabbing her by the chin and pulling her to  
her feet.  
  
"Who are you?" Kodachi asked.  
  
The girl stared on in fear. Who was this one? She could  
not be older than seven, so she clearly wasn't a suitor of Ranma-  
sama. Why was she familiar...  
  
"You were the one at the greenhouse the other day!" Kodachi  
exclaimed. "What are you doing in my dreams? Some sort of  
related thought, perhap..."  
  
But then the entire palace faded. Kodachi cursed. One of  
the easiest ways to stop a dream was to call it that, to call it  
a dream. She submitted to the fading, figuring it was probably  
time to wake up in reality anyway.  
  
But the dream would not completely fade. It resolved to a  
ghostly image, translucent, with a persistent noise in the  
background... a beep... another beep... and another. A stream of  
beeps. And there was a bed, her bed, which--  
  
BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP rang Kodachi's alarm clock. She  
picked it up with a sleepy hand and threw it across the room,  
shutting it off. She loved those baseball alarm clocks which you  
had to physically and violently turn off.  
  
Another fine day, she mused, hopping out of bed to do some  
warm up exercises. By this point, she had completely forgotten  
the dream.  
  
*  
  
Kodachi loved the weekends.  
  
They allowed for more time to partake in her favorite  
hobbies : practicing gymnastics, winning Ranma-sama's favor,  
working on her gardens, etc. This weekend, however, was  
dedicated solely to gardenwork.  
  
She was chemically bonding her DNA-enhanced vine seeds to  
dehydrated RS9 particles. It would work; a good dosage of water,  
and the vine would grow. A lovely vine, a vine with grafted  
plant muscles and a language center, a mindless servant. Sort of  
like Sasuke. Speaking of which...  
  
"SASUKE!" Kodachi called. Before the last syllable had left  
her mouth, Sasuke exploded onto the scene with a smoke bomb.  
  
"HAI!" Sasuke called, bowing.  
  
Kodachi blinked. An unusually fast entrance for the little  
ninja. "Sasuke, I have a task for you. It shan't take more than  
an hour or two."  
  
"Then I feel I must decline," Sasuke said, in stable, strong  
tones. "I have much ninja practice to do this weekend.   
Tatewaki-sama has already released me from duties."  
  
Kodachi frowned. "Well, that's fine and good, but Kodachi-  
sama hasn't released you from duties. You will take these seeds  
and--"  
  
"No," Sasuke said.  
  
"NO? Impudent servant, you dare refuse your mistress??"  
Kodachi exclaimed, kicking her work stool away to stand firmly on  
her decision.  
  
"I am not obligated to help today. I apologize deeply if  
this affects your plans, but I have business of my own to take  
care of. Farewell," Sasuke said, bowing deeply in respect before  
vanishing in another blast of smoke.  
  
Kodachi instinctively pulled on her filtration mask, waving  
the smoke away. Stupid, stupid ninja! Smoke was BAD for plants!   
And how dare he claim that any affairs of his own took  
importance? He HAD no affairs, first of all! His life is to  
serve! He's FIRED if he ever shows again!!!  
  
"Well, BAH! I don't need Sasuke!" Kodachi yelled, to the  
world in generally. "I was going to replace him as a patsy  
anyway... with... with... him!"  
  
Kodachi tore open the door to the greenhouse, and charged  
outside to the figure she saw trespassing on mansion grounds.  
  
"You there! Stop!" Kodachi called, rushing to greet him.  
  
"Koko wa doko wa?" Ryouga asked, lowering his map in time to  
see Kodachi Kunou running to him at top speed. Ryouga panicked,  
tried to go in six directions at once, failed, and froze on the  
spot.  
  
"Greetings,... umm... Ryoogle, right?" Kodachi asked. "One  
of Ranma-sama's little friends?"  
  
"It's Ryouga Hibiki," he said, finally unfreezing. "And I  
am NOT one of 'Ranma-sama's friends."  
  
"Whatever. How would you like to make some money, good  
sir?" Kodachi asked.  
  
"Money? Gosh... I could get those neat matching  
tigerstriped pendants for Akane-san and I... Whoa, wait," he  
said, breaking out of his waking dream. "I know you. You're  
underhanded."  
  
"I prefer the term 'Socially Challenging,'" Kodachi laughed.   
"It's very simple, really. I'd like you to take this bag of  
seeds and plant them at the Tendo Dojo."  
  
"Oh, is that all," Ryouga said. "I was on my way there  
anyway... wait. What are these seeds, exactly?"  
  
"Ohohohohohoho! Just a flower, nothing more," Kodachi  
smiled.  
  
"Hrm. I don't buy it," Ryouga said. "No thanks, lady.   
Gotta go."  
  
"Waaaait," Kodachi warned, dropping to a menacing tone.   
"Alright, I tried to do this the polite way, but you leave me no  
choice. Either you'll plant the seeds, or... I'll let everybody  
in town know your little secret."  
  
"Wh... what little secret?" Ryouga asked.  
  
"Oh, you know. That one little secret... the one you don't  
want anybody to find out..." she smiled. "Least of all Akane  
Tendo..."  
  
Oh, god, she knows!! Ryouga thought. If Akane was to find  
out my curse, it'd be... it'd be...  
  
"Alright, I'll plant them!" Ryouga said, grabbing the seed  
bag. "Just don't tell anybody! Please!"  
  
"Good boy," Kodachi smiled. "Now run and play."  
  
Ryouga ran off in a totally random direction, clutching the  
bag close. Kodachi watched the boy flee, and quietly returned to  
her greenhouse.  
  
Good thing he didn't realize I was bluffing, Kodachi  
thought. Of course, everybody has that one little secret they  
don't want to come out. Whatever his one is, it must be horrible  
indeed.  
  
*  
  
Ryouga finished planting a few seeds around the building,  
before someone leaned out the window to yell at him.  
  
"Whaddya think you're doing?!" the man screamed. "Get off  
my property!"  
  
"Huh?" Ryouga asked, looking up. "Isn't this the Tendo  
Dojo?"  
  
"No, you moron, this is Hiroaki Dry Cleaning."  
  
*  
  
"No, this is the supermarket. I don't see how you could  
mistake it for a dojo. What are you planting, anyway?"  
  
*  
  
"It's my house, not a dojo, boy. Stop digging up my  
flowerboxes."  
  
*  
  
"Ryouga?" Ukyou asked, leaning out the restaurant door.   
"What're you planting?"  
  
"N-Nothing!" Ryouga said, hiding the now lightweight bag  
behind his back. This isn't good, he thought. I'm almost out of  
seeds, and I still haven't found the dojo. If I don't get there,  
Kodachi will tell everybody about my curse...  
  
"Jeez, you look pale," Ukyou said. "Have you been eating  
alright?"  
  
"Fine, fine. Umm. Ukyou, could you... ah... lead me, umm,  
to... to the..."  
  
Ukyou sighed. "The dojo. Alright, let's go. Honestly,  
Ryouga, why not just take a taxi or something?"  
  
"Not enough money," Ryouga said, taking Ukyou's hand.  
  
"I guess so. Hey, what's in the bag?"  
  
"Uhh... ummm... flower seeds," Ryouga said. "I was going  
to, ah, grow a bouquet to bring to Ak... to the Tendos, yeah!"  
  
"That's nice, but flowers don't grow that fast," Ukyou  
smiled. "Can I have a few? I'm working on a garden behind the  
restaurant."  
  
"Sure thing!" Ryouga said, passing her four seeds. He still  
had enough to plant at the dojo, when he got there. Who cared  
where else they ended up?  
  
*  
  
"Come on in, sit down, Kodachi-chan," the principal of St.  
Hebereke said, motioning for the student to have a seat.  
  
Kodachi nodded, and wandered into the office. "Is something  
wrong, Kouchou-sensei? I don't think I've broken any school  
regulations recently..."  
  
"Hmmm? No, no, this doesn't have much to do with school,"  
the principal said, stirring her tea. "It's actually something  
of a worry of mine... I've heard you've been having trouble  
sleeping lately."  
  
"Oh, no. I've been sleeping quite well lately," Kodachi  
said. "Where did you hear that from?"  
  
"Oh, I have my ways. You're using a flower with special  
pollen as a sleep aid, is this correct?"  
  
"Well... hai, Kouchou-sensei, but it hasn't degraded my  
educational performance an--"  
  
"I really think you should stop using the flower," she said.   
"It's for the best for you."  
  
"Kouchou-sensei, I mean no disrespect in this statement, but  
frankly I don't think my home life falls under your  
jurisdiction," Kodachi said, in her polite way of telling the  
principal to butt out. Where was she getting this information,  
anyway? Had that horrid little Sasuke been playing spy?  
  
"The sleep it provides is unnatural, and you know it," the  
principal continued, in the same calm voice she'd use to announce  
grade reports. "You're only harming yourself by persisting in  
this abuse of chemicals and drugs. If you stop now, it would be  
easier--"  
  
"Kouchou-sensei!" Kodachi exclaimed. "I don't see how it's  
any of your business!"  
  
The principal sighed. "Well, I tried. But please, Kodachi,  
whatever you do, don't bring any of your creations to school. I  
would hate to have to suspend or expel you for bringing a  
medically dangerous plant on campus. That is all."  
  
Kodachi nodded, and stomped out of the office. How did she  
know about Kodachi's home life? There had to be a spy. Who  
could it be, though? Sasuke? Supposedly the little toad didn't  
have the spine required to defy his masters, but... after  
yesterday's incident, who knew...  
  
She passed down the line of other girls, waiting outside  
Kouchou-sensei's office. Mostly gang members or other  
delinquents. Hmph. Even that little one at the end.  
  
Wait.  
  
Kodachi span on her heel, examining the little girl. It was  
her! The one who was peeking into the greenhouse...  
  
That HAD to be the principal's spy!  
  
If she hadn't already been enraged by this intrusion into  
her private life, she might've smiled, walked out the door and  
plotted ways of identifying the little girl later. As is, she  
pushed formalities and politeness aside in favor of grabbing the  
girl by her silly white and yellow uniform.  
  
"Who are you? Have you been following me around?" she  
asked, staring into the girl's eyes. The girl stared back, the  
same look of fear she had carried at the greenhouse. Her tiny  
jaw sagged, but couldn't form words.  
  
"Kodachi!" the principal called angrily, leaning out her  
office door frame. "You were excused. You will go to class  
NOW."  
  
Kodachi looked away from the girl, setting her down. "Of  
course, Kouchou-sensei," Kodachi smiled sweetly. She turned to  
leave, not noticing that the little girl had vanished.  
  
*  
  
Ryouga jogged onward, worried.  
  
He managed to get to the dojo and plant the seeds, sure  
enough. He even got to talk to Akane... for awhile, before Ranma  
decided to stomp on his head for awhile... finally, ending the  
day as P-Chan, snuggled in dear Akane-san's arms.  
  
But he forgot he had to go see Kodachi again and tell her  
the job was done, before she spread his secret all over town!  
  
So he continued through the streets of Nerima, running  
wildly, trying to find the Kunou mansion. The clouds overhead  
threatened rain, building to a dark head on the horizon.   
Fortunately, he had his umbrella.  
  
Maybe... maybe I should stop and ask for directions, Ryouga  
thought. He skidded to a halt in front of a large building,  
tapped the nearest girl on the shoulder, and asked : "Where is  
the Kunou Mansion?"  
  
"Oh, Ryouga-kun!" Kodachi smiled sweetly. "What timing, you  
caught me just as school was letting out. Have you filled your  
end of our deal?"  
  
Ryouga's eyes bugged out. He found her! Okay, so he didn't  
find the mansion, but who cared about the mansion? "Yes! Yes.   
I planted the seeds. Now, you won't go telling anybody about...  
y'know... bwee bwee, right?"  
  
"Bwee?" Kodachi asked, puzzled. "Oh, yes, bwee! No, bwee  
is perfectly safe with me. Arigato, Ryouga."  
  
She bowed, just as thunder rolled. Ryouga quickly pulled  
out his umbrella, before the rain came down... a drizzle, then a  
smattering, and finally a medium pour.  
  
"Ah, the rain comes," Kodachi smiled. "I believe my lovely  
plants will be given life no..."  
  
Kodachi blinked. There was a vine growing right next to  
her... and another. More down the road. In fact, every source  
of dirt she could spot was sprouting vines, vines tangling around  
lampposts, wrapping up cars and buildings, slowly but surely  
coloring the city green.  
  
"Oh my," she gasped. "Ryouga, where did you plant my  
seeds?"  
  
"Uhh... well... I had a hard time finding the dojo..."  
Ryouga said, half-concentrating on speech, half-concentrating on  
the chlorophyll monsters that were stretching across the city in  
the rain. "And I kept mistaking places for the dojo, and..."  
  
"You planted them all around Nerima, didn't you??" Kodachi  
asked, shaking Ryouga by the straps on his backpack.  
  
"Ack!" Ryouga gagged, trying to keep his umbrella overhead.   
"Sorry! Please, don't tell anybody about my curse!"  
  
"Hmmmmm..." Kodachi mused aloud. "Actually, this could be  
beneficial... I was just hoping to impress Ranma with my  
gardening prowess and decorate his lovely house, perhaps wreck  
that silly Akane's room in the process... perhaps I can do more  
now. Thank you, Ryouga-kun."  
  
"Do more? What're you talking about?" Ryouga asked.  
  
"I tire of carrying my books," Kodachi said. "Vines,  
please, lift these for me."  
  
Ryouga boggled as one of the growing vines, previously  
winding its way through the St. Hebereke gate, disentangled  
itself to slide over and grasp Kodachi's bookbag.  
  
"Th-they obey you??" Ryouga gaped.  
  
"But of course! My darlings, around the entire city...  
yes... this COULD be fun. I thank you again, Ryouga Hibachi! Ta  
ta! Ohohohohohohhohohohhoho..."  
  
"That's HIBIKI!" Ryouga called, as Kodachi bounced gleefully  
home, vines crawling along after her, carrying her bag.  
  
Dear god, what have I done? Ryouga thought.  
  
Akane.  
  
There are at least a dozen of these things at the dojo...  
  
Ryouga ran off into the storm, accidentally leaving his  
umbrella behind. He didn't get far.  
  
*  
  
Kodachi span and twirled her ribbon, dancing merrily in her  
garden. The music box she kept around whenever she needed to  
relax cranked out its endless tune... it had seen better days,  
really, burned by acids and thunked around throughout the course  
of normal laboratory work. The merry-go-round pipe organ song it  
played was sickly, notes bent, bars broken. But it was musical,  
in a warbling, diseased mockingbird sort of way, and Kodachi  
liked it.  
  
How wonderful! Vines, vines, everywhere. Lovely plantlife  
reclaiming territory long since taken by technology.  
  
How wonderful! There were no places left without some vine  
cover. Where Ryouga hadn't planted them, vines had burrowed  
beneath the earth, or severed children-vines replanted  
themselves. Roads were useless. The city had ground to a halt.  
  
How wonderful! Kodachi now had a league, no, an entire ARMY  
at her disposal... the vines couldn't think, but they could  
respond. They could respond to her voice, thanks to Onsen-Mark's  
teachings.  
  
Nerima would not likely be the same, Kodachi thought,  
smiling. It would be BETTER.  
  
"Now, to work," she said, closing her music box, the last  
dying strands of the carnival fading away. "What to do, what to  
do..."  
  
Kunou slashed his way through the vines covering her  
greenhouse, forcing his way into the door. "Sister! You have  
MUCH to account for!!"  
  
"Why, hello, Tatewaki-kun! How fares?" Kodachi asked,  
smiling happily.  
  
"Was it you who has planted this series of green monsters  
around the city?" Kunou asked. "The town is in chaos! You've  
reduced the flow of business to a light trickle! The government  
has declared it a disaster area!"  
  
"They just can't appreciate nature."  
  
"There is nothing natural about this, sister. What you have  
done... this... this ATROCITY, it seems... well, impossible,"  
Kunou said. "Straight out of a movie with rubbery monsters. How  
could something this stupid exist?"  
  
"I don't know, I don't care," Kodachi dismissed. "It  
exists, which is enough. Relax, brother dear! I have a plan."  
  
"I do not wish to hear of your plants."  
  
"Not plants, brother, plans. One in particular involves  
Akane Tendo..."  
  
"NANI?" Kunou exclaimed.  
  
"Well, I'll have no use for that clumsy girl when I'm done.   
Would you like her?" Kodachi grinned.  
  
*  
  
Sasuke watched the spread of chaos from the rooftops.  
  
"It's not right," Sasuke said. "Things just don't GROW that  
fast..."  
  
"Master Sasuke," one of his ninja bowed to him. "Second and  
third headquarters have been flooded with vines. We are trying  
to prevent any identifiable evidence from being left behind  
before relocating..."  
  
"Yes, yes, good," Sasuke waved away. "Tell me, how long  
have you been in my employ as a ninja team leader?"  
  
"Only a smattering of days, sir."  
  
"Didn't you find it odd to become part of a hundred-man  
ninja army, which was formed in that amount of time as well?"  
  
"What?" the ninja asked, blinking from behind his black  
pajamas. "Certainly not. You are a capable leader of men, and  
could raise an army in such time. Why?"  
  
Sasuke sighed. "Sorry, just my own worries creeping in  
again. I would like to make a request. Take a team of three men  
and have them tail Kodachi Kunou."  
  
"Your former employer?"  
  
"Hai. Something has gone wrong."  
  
"One would think that the vines would be a sure indication  
of that, Ninja Master Sasuke."  
  
"Not the vines, lad," Sasuke laughed heartily. "Something  
on a larger scale. Either way, see to it. I want to know her  
activities and contacts."  
  
"Do you think she is a threat, master?" the ninja asked.   
"We could inhume her cleanly and efficiently--"  
  
"No, no."  
  
"Ah, so she isn't a threat."  
  
"Oh, she's threatening. I just want to find out who she's  
threatening," Sasuke said, watching the streets below. "You have  
your orders. Farewell."  
  
The ninja nodded, tossed down a smokebomb and vanished.  
  
*  
  
Kodachi was in a new dream. It was, as usual, with Ranma;  
Ranma was a permanent structure in any dream she had.  
  
She was dancing with him, to the sickly amusement park  
themes of her music box, through a darkened fun park. Rusted  
hulks of equipment sagging in the damp breeze, horses that were  
never meant to ride hanging from poles, ferris wheels that hadn't  
turned in aeons.  
  
"And tomorrow, I shall rid my life of my competition," she  
told Ranma. This dream wasn't as surreal as her others. It was  
a nice change of pace, the ability to have a quiet, normal  
conversation with her Ranma-sama.  
  
"Sounds good to me," Ranma said, twirling her around the  
park, to the music. "You know I only want to be with you. The  
others, I care for them, but... they annoy me. They are a  
bother."  
  
"Oh, I'll remove them for you," Kodachi laughed. "I have  
plans. I have the power now, with my vines. How lucky I was to  
have them available for my use!"  
  
"Very lucky," Ranma smiled. And when he smiled, the lights  
snapped to attention; long dormant light bulbs around the park,  
casting down shadows of white and yellow, blinking in harmony  
with the music.  
  
"Too lucky," the principal said, sitting on the merry go  
round, side saddle as the horse circled endlessly. "Far, far too  
lucky, Kodachi-chan."  
  
"Kouchou-sensei!" Kodachi gaped. "What're you doing in this  
d--"  
  
The principal put a finger to her lips. "Don't say the D-  
word. You'll wake up. You must wake, Kodachi, but not from  
this."  
  
"Get out of my fantasy!" Kodachi demanded, leaving Ranma  
behind to hop onto the moving merry go round. She stomped after  
her principal, but the principal's horse always seemed just a bit  
faster... ahead of the pack.  
  
"You haven't realized it. Sasuke has realized most of it,  
and he's of a lower mental degree than you," the principal  
sighed. "It's too convenient. It's too lucky."  
  
"It's perfect!" Kodachi said, pulling out a black gymnastics  
ribbon and lashing it around the pole of her principal's horse.   
"It is perfect and I will allow none to ruin it!"  
  
"Can't you hear the beeping?" the principal asked. "Don't  
you know what that means? Time is growing short, Kodachi!"  
  
"Good. The sooner I wake, the sooner I lose you!" Kodachi  
said, ripping the horse off the merry go round, and casting it  
aside.  
  
The principal hopped off at the last second, facing Kodachi.   
"That's not what I mean, and you know it. You have to want to  
wake up!"  
  
"Alright!" Kodachi yelled, over the incessant beeping.   
"This is just a dream and I'm ready to wake up."  
  
"Not THAT d--" the principal called, but she had vanished,  
as did the dream, leaving her only with the vision of her in bed,  
and the beeping...  
  
She grabbed the beeping alarm clock and threw it out the  
window. Kodachi got up, stretching, facing the new morning.  
  
"Stupid dreams," she said. "Just a side affect of my lovely  
flower. Oh well."  
  
A vine flowed into the window of her room, carrying her  
alarm clock with it. Kodachi smiled and accepted the gift,  
putting it back on her nightstand.  
  
*  
  
Kodachi had Purpose today.  
  
She carried with her a clipboard, reading :  
  
TO DO :  
[ ] Shampoo  
[ ] Ukyou  
[ ] Akane  
[ ] Pig-tailed girl  
  
First stop -- Nekohanten. Ryouga had planted a few seeds  
here, and that had multiplied when apparently the owners decided  
to try cutting their way out. Foolish people, you can't stop my  
pretties! Kodachi laughed inwardly.  
  
"Hellooooo!" Kodachi called, peeking through the mess of  
vines at the door of the restaurant. "Anybody home?"  
  
Shampoo looked up from her task of clearing the tables of  
overgrowth. "Nekohanten closed. Go eat somewhere else. Gomen."  
  
"Ohohohohoho! I haven't come to eat," Kodachi grinned.  
  
Shampoo examined her. "You that insane gymnastic girl who  
after Shampoo's groom! What you want?"  
  
"Revenge," Kodachi smiled.  
  
"If fight you want, Shampoo always ready!"  
  
"Of course you are. You and your barbarian ways. Ranma  
deserves one of high society, not a primitive such as you!"  
  
"SHIIINE!!" Shampoo shouted, charging Kodachi.  
  
"Darlings, restrain this one," Kodachi said, pointing to  
Shampoo.  
  
Shampoo blinked, as suddenly the vines which had done little  
more than grow and get in the way snapped to life, whipping  
around her to grab her arms. She pulled mightily and snapped  
them, but for every one she ripped through, two more joined the  
ranks. Soon, she was practically mummified in flora.  
  
"Ohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho!"  
Kodachi laughed, allowing herself the extra time to make it a  
really GOOD laugh. "Where are you now, without your weapons and  
tricks, silly one?"  
  
"How you make plant move??" Shampoo demanded, trying to pull  
herself free.  
  
"Just a little trick of mine. Now, if I recall, you're the  
stubborn one. I don't think I'm going to be able to get near  
Ranma with you running loose... so I'm afraid I'll have to  
dispose of you here."  
  
"NANI?" Shampoo exclaimed.  
  
"Darlings, please extend your gentle hug to that one's neck  
for me," Kodachi said. "Ta ta, Shampoo."  
  
"STUPID GI--" Shampoo started, before the vines reached up  
and wrapped themselves around her neck.  
  
Kodachi bounced out of the restaurant, laughing. Shampoo  
pulled, ripping vines away, until she had her limbs free; but the  
ones which had been holding her arms joined the ones on her neck.   
She pulled and pulled, but couldn't get all of them off, not  
quickly enough... the vines hoisted her up off the floor,  
gripping onto the ceiling... her vision started to get fuzzy...  
  
Shampoo fell to the ground, something whizzing through the  
air above her. And in an instant, an angel in white descended  
onto her and carefully cut the vines away from her neck, pulling  
her out of the restaurant...  
  
Shampoo coughed, wheezing, getting her breath back. She  
reached up and clung to her unknown savior, until she realized it  
was just Mousse. So she slugged him.  
  
"Stupid Mousse!" she barked.  
  
"This is the thanks I get for saving your life?" Mousse  
grumbled. "Itai..."  
  
Cologne poked at the vines that were now filling the  
restaurant with her staff. "Unusual business, this. You're  
lucky Mousse forgot to bring money for the market, or we wouldn't  
have come back in time."  
  
"Shampoo go find Kodachi and hurt her seventy different  
way!" Shampoo declared. "She try kill Shampoo so have Ranma for  
herself!"  
  
"No," Cologne said.  
  
"No? What great grandmother mean, no?"  
  
"If the growth which has infested Tokyo is Kodachi's doing,  
then it is a power too strong to stop with means available. One  
must build a strength that is greater if they can hope to  
overcome such a situation. We must go back to China."  
  
"RETREAT? After what she's done?!" Mousse exclaimed.   
"Never! I'll fight her to my last dying brea--"  
  
Cologne bonked Mousse with her staff. "Not a retreat, you  
fool, a regrouping. I said with means AVAILABLE. I have a  
plan."  
  
"What about Ranma?" Shampoo asked.  
  
"Son-in-law can handle himself," Cologne said. "But still,  
let us hurry, ne?"  
  
"Shampoo going do something first, then we leave," Shampoo  
said, taking a single step towards the door. "Umm. Restaurant  
seem not safe place to be. We go stationery store around corner,  
yes?"  
  
*  
  
TO DO :  
[X] Shampoo  
[ ] Ukyou  
[ ] Akane  
[ ] Pig-tailed Girl  
  
Kodachi whistled her music box tune, placing a black X in  
the appropriate box. One down. She would have liked to avoid  
any messy carnage, but that one... she could be dangerous. She  
DID show in town with intention of killing her dear Ranma-sama,  
after all. Oh well, out of sight, out of mind.  
  
The next on the list would be that low-bred tart, Ukyou.   
She wouldn't have to be removed, but certainly dealt with...  
Kodachi figured she would decide what to do when the time came.   
After all, she had--  
  
Kodachi froze in her tracks. Just ahead, walking along the  
street, was that little girl. That nameless enigma, the  
principal's spy...  
  
"You there!" Kodachi called out. "Stop!"  
  
The little girl turned to look, saw Kodachi, yelped. She  
took off running, as fast as her little feet would carry her.   
Kodachi pursued... until she realized she didn't have to bother.  
  
"Sweetie?" she said to a vine, which nodded in recognition.   
"If you could... see that little brat? Fetch her, bring her to  
the mansion and hold her. I have other business to attend to."  
  
The vine nodded, gathered others and took off in pursuit.   
Kodachi smiled. They made such lovely servants, the vines...  
powerful, strong, unable to disagree, unable to be stopped.   
Perfect, perfect. Like a gift from the heavens...  
  
That thought line stopped as she reached the door to that  
other restaurant, Ucchan's. Why does Ranma-sama like these chef-  
types? There's no future in marketed food... besides, *I* can  
cook just fine, no, better than them...  
  
Kodachi sighed. She might be highly intelligent, but there  
were some things that escaped even her.  
  
She wandered into the restaurant, parting the cheap curtains  
with a hand so they wouldn't touch her delicate face. This place  
wasn't nearly as overrun with vines... perhaps because they were  
on the plates, instead of on the floor.  
  
Kodachi recoiled in horror. Unlike the previous restaurant,  
which saw the vines as a nuisance, this one had... had... turned  
them into the dish of the day!!  
  
"Konnichi wa!" Ukyou waved, from the griddle. "Welcome to  
Ucchan's. Today's special is vine okonomiya... oh. Kodachi.   
Hello."  
  
"You're EATING my vines!!" Kodachi exclaimed. Several  
customers paused in eating, noticing Kodachi for the first time.   
More than several, really; this was one of the only restaurants  
open in a three mile radius and was doing a booming business.  
  
"Well, it was either that or shut down for the day," Ukyou  
said. "Considering that I'm living alone, I can't afford to lose  
a days' business. Besides, with the ones around the restaurant  
and the ones I've planted, I'll never run out of ingredients!   
Would you like a dish of the day, or just the way to the door?"  
  
"That tears it! Darlings! Rip this place apart!" Kodachi  
called. Nothing moved. Not a single vine was left alive to hear  
her.  
  
"Darlings?" Ukyou asked.  
  
"You mean you've killed and served up EVERY vine in the  
place?" Kodachi gaped.  
  
"Well, what else was I going to do with them?" Ukyou asked.  
  
Kodachi frowned. No. This wasn't how it was supposed to  
work at all; it was supposed to be a repeat of the Nekohanten  
episode, her and her lovely plants storming in, overpowering the  
weak girl and showing her who's boss. She would NOT put up with  
this. It was unacceptable.  
  
And then, the vines on the plate moved, coming to life.   
Kodachi smiled; THIS was more like it.  
  
The customers freaked out and ran like only a Tokyo crowd  
really can, the kind of crowd that's used to fleeing in terror  
from men in large rubber monster costumes. Within seconds, the  
place was empty, and the long, wound up strands of vine were  
crawling off pancake bases all over the restaurant, heeding  
Kodachi's call.  
  
"What the--?" Ukyou exclaimed, in surprise.  
  
"I can't let anything get in the way of my dreams. NOTHING!   
Darlings, get her!" Kodachi called, pointing to Ukyou.  
  
Ukyou cursed, and pulled out her mega-spatula, slicing away.   
But now, the vines were alive and growing, restoring themselves  
to their previous lengths. The more she cut, the more vines were  
made, as they twisted and turned to get a hold on her.   
Eventually, they had the girl immobilized.  
  
"Now, this is more like it," Kodachi said. "Justice finally  
comes to the cook-girl, and I didn't even have to lift a finger.   
Ah, why can't life always be this good? Ohohohohoohohohohoho!"  
  
"So what now?" Ukyou asked, glaring down at Kodachi from her  
place, tangled up among her grill equipment. "Am I supposed to  
cringe in fear at your weeds and beg for my survival?"  
  
"Dear, you need not beg. I... I believe I have need of a  
good chef at my estate," Kodachi smiled. "Yes, a nice serving  
wench would be appreciated. After all, I'll be at Ranma-sama's  
side all day, and probably won't have time to cater to the petty  
details of household management..."  
  
"I get it now. Kodachi breeds new killer plants to snatch  
my Ran-chan away from me," Ukyou laughed. "I don't think it's  
going to work."  
  
"It will," Kodachi said. "Your only chance of survival is  
to submit to my will. Do you yield?"  
  
"Go kiss a cactus," Ukyou suggested. "You know, what just  
happened in here is impossible. Dead and cooked plants can't  
come back to life."  
  
"Impossible, but it happened, so who cares about the  
details?" Kodachi said.  
  
"But it's not true, Kodachi," Ukyou said, voice dropping to  
more cautious tones. Worried tones. "You know it's not... come  
on... you've got to stop this."  
  
Kodachi glared. "Stop talking nonsense. Darlings, please  
take this servant back to the mansion and fit her for a proper  
underling uniform."  
  
Ukyou thrashed against the vines, regaining her spirit.   
That was more like it; the girl had spunk, at least, if not  
brains, class or social status. Kodachi smiled, and checked off  
another box on her list.  
  
*  
  
Sick Kodachi using plants take over town and get rid of  
other fiancees and get you. Gone to China, will save  
you when get back... you be alive when Shampoo get back  
or Shampoo kill you!  
  
Love, Shampoo  
  
XXXOOXOXOOXXXOOOX  
  
"Alright, what's the meaning of this?" Ranma said, flashing  
the poorly-written letter the dojo had just received via duck-  
courier at Ryouga.  
  
"I told you, I helped her plant seeds all over town," Ryouga  
said. "I didn't know what they were gonna do, alright?! Get off  
my back, Saotome!"  
  
"Ranma! Ryouga! Dinner will be ready soon!" Kasumi called,  
pushing a few green strands out of the way to lean into the  
living room. "It's vine again. The market is closed."  
  
"Anyway, this means she's going to be coming here... for me,  
AND Akane," Ranma said. "Not good. Hrm... well... these stupid  
trees--"  
  
"Vines, you idiot. Trees are made of wood."  
  
"So's your head, Ryouga. Anyway, they don't look THAT  
threatening."  
  
"You didn't see what I saw," Ryouga said. "They can obey  
her commands... like tentacles in a bad horror anime. It's a lot  
freakier in real life, though. They're STRONG, too; I saw them  
ripping up the street just to have more room to grow on the way  
over here..."  
  
"Ranma? What's going on?" Akane asked, wandering over from  
the Dojo, carrying a stained pair of gardening shears. "By the  
way, no luck in cleaning out the dojo. Cutting them doesn't seem  
to help."  
  
"Read this," Ranma said, passing the note to Akane.  
  
Akane browsed it lightly, then slammed Ranma's head into the  
floor with a wooden mallet. "BAKA! This is no time to be  
getting love letters from Shampoo!!!"  
  
Ranma got up, ignoring the hammer jutting out of the top of  
his head at a jaunty angle. "JEEZ, did you even read it? It's  
TROUBLE! Kodachi's coming this way to get rid of you and claim  
me for her own!"  
  
"Oh," Akane said. She paused, considered apologizing,  
rejected the idea out of instinct and simply nodded along.   
"Well, what can we do?"  
  
"You can get out of here," Ranma suggested.  
  
"What? But I couldn't possibly--"  
  
"Akane, she's got a thundering horde of mindless tubewormish  
demons under her control. Tokyo isn't safe... Ryouga, if you  
even SMILE at my next sentence, it will go badly for you. Got  
it?"  
  
"Uh... yeah?" Ryouga asked, confused.  
  
"I want you to take Akane and go," Ranma said.  
  
"NANI?!?!" Akane exclaimed.  
  
"Really, Ranma? You're not joking?" Ryouga asked.  
  
"No, I'm not. We need her to get out of sight... maybe if  
she leaves, Kodachi won't hurt her. And the best way to lose  
Kodachi is to get lost yourself, and frankly, you're an expert at  
that."  
  
"Hold on a second here!" Akane said. "I'm making a stand  
with you. You can't just roll over and let her do this!"  
  
"Of course I'm not going to!" Ranma argued. "I just don't  
want your clumsy body in the way when I gotta face her down,  
that's all!"  
  
"CLUMSY? I'll have you know that I'm... uh... nevermind!   
I'm not going to run when danger shows!" Akane yelled back.  
  
"I don't want you getting killed, okay? Kodachi is SICK!"  
Ranma said. "Very sick... in fact, quite sick... in trouble...  
uh... where was I?"  
  
"I think you were on getting killed," Akane glowered.  
  
Ranma nodded. Odd train of thought, that... Ranma bopped  
the side of his head a few times to clear his head. Must  
concentrate on present. Ignore strange repetitive noises.  
  
"Anyway, yeah, getting killed," Ranma nodded.  
  
"What makes you think she'd try?" Akane asked.  
  
"Because she almost killed Shampoo," Sasuke said.  
  
Everybody blinked.  
  
"Sorry, I ran out of smoke bombs, so I had to settle for  
sneaking in," Sasuke said, bowing. "Anyway, I saw the whole  
thing. Or rather, my spies did. She attacked, strangled and  
almost killed Shampoo."  
  
"That's... not like her," Akane said.  
  
"I know. She's not acting right. It's like her id is in  
control," Sasuke said.  
  
"Since when do you even know what an id is, you punk?" Ranma  
asked, grabbing Sasuke by the shirt. (Ranma didn't know what an  
id was either, but hey.) "And where do you get off sneaking into  
our house? Spying on us for Kunou?"  
  
"Forgive me," Sasuke said, grabbing Ranma by the shirt as  
well and mauling the boy in a matter of 2.335 seconds.  
  
"..." Ranma said, before collapsing.  
  
Sasuke sighed. "I knew it. I've gotten better... but that  
makes sense. Look, Akane, it's for the best if you get out of  
here. Something big is going to occur and this is ground zero.   
If you and Ryouga like, I can have my ninja army escort you  
safely outside city limits, and keep a guard posted with you to  
relay messages."  
  
"Ninja army?" Ryouga asked, confused. "Since when did you  
have a ninja army?"  
  
"Since always," Sasuke said. "Don't you remember?"  
  
"Uh... yeah!" Ryouga said, comprehension crossing his face.   
"I almost forgot Sasuke's ninja army, wow. How's the captain of  
the guard doing? Thank him for showing me home last month,  
please."  
  
It's even modifying the memories of the players around us,  
Sasuke thought. This has to end. It wouldn't truly matter where  
Akane went, but still... best to keep appearances.  
  
"Trust me when I say danger is here," Sasuke said. "Please,  
Akane-sama. Tatewaki-sama thinks highly of you, and would be  
very displeased if you were to be hurt. Even though I am no  
longer on his employ, I understand his heart."  
  
"But... I mean, I can't just run..." Akane muttered.  
  
Sasuke looked around to make sure nobody was listening, and  
leaned forward to whisper. "I'm organizing... it's not really a  
resistance movement, but I'm trying to stop Kodachi's madness.   
You would be of more use outside, where it is safe, when we  
finally strike."  
  
"Oh, I get it!" Ryouga grinned. "You need us to wait and  
help in the final strike?"  
  
"Something like that, yes. I have a guard waiting to escort  
you," Sasuke nodded.  
  
"What about Ranma?" Akane asked. "He's a target too..."  
  
"He'll be fine. He's the last person Kodachi-sama wants to  
hurt," Sasuke said. "Now, go. The officer outside will lead  
you."  
  
"Alright... I don't like this, but alright," Akane nodded.   
"Come on, Ryouga."  
  
"Okay!" Ryouga beamed. With Akane-san... away from  
society... wow! "Lead the way! Please."  
  
With that, the two left.  
  
No, what happened to Akane now wouldn't matter. There was a  
guard, but where they went was moot. All that mattered was that  
she was out of the room, so Sasuke could prove a theory... I must  
hide to witness this in secrecy, Sasuke thought. He faded into  
the shadows of the room, concealing himself perfectly. If only I  
could do that normally, he mused.  
  
"Ranma-sama..." Kodachi's voice called, quietly. The vines  
shifted, aware of her approach, until she finally wandered in.   
The messy network of plants parted themselves automatically to  
allow her to pass, and see Ranma's passed out body.  
  
"..." Ranma said, eyelids fluttering.  
  
"Oh no!" Kodachi cried out, grabbing Ranma and clutching him  
to her chest with a GLOMP. "You're wounded! I bet that Tendo  
girl did this! If I ever find her..."  
  
"It's okay..." Ranma said, coming to. "I got her to leave."  
  
"You did? That's great! Are you sure it's forever?"  
  
"Probably," Ranma said, straightening out his shirt. "It's  
better this way, right? Now we can be alone, without needing to  
slaughter everybody to do it."  
  
"Yes, yes!" Kodachi beamed, overflowing with joy. "Alone at  
last!"  
  
"Inseparable," Ranma said, taking her by the shoulders.   
"I'll never leave your side again, Kodachi-sama. We have won  
against all odds."  
  
Sasuke's jaw nearly hit the floor. He was expecting this,  
but... that didn't make it any less weird.  
  
"No! You mustn't, master!" a high pitched voice called from  
the hallway.  
  
Ranma-chan stepped in.  
  
Sasuke crashed to the floor in a massive facefault. He  
cursed himself for losing track of his stealth, and prayed that  
nobody had noticed that. There were two Ranmas here! It...  
well, it was a fact he was always reluctant to tell to Tatewaki-  
sama, for fear of the boy's mental health (and rage), but Sasuke  
knew of the curse...  
  
And he knew there shouldn't be two Ranmas. But there were;  
the little redhaired one looking absolutely pitiful, like a puppy  
that has been kicked by its master.  
  
"Please, don't leave me!" the girl begged. "I know that  
Kodachi is more beautiful than I can ever hope to be, but what of  
your heart? What of my needs? What of our meaningless nights of  
debauchery?"  
  
"Eh, stuff it," Ranma said. "You were never very good.   
Hasta la vista. Come on, Ko-chan, let's settle into our new  
home."  
  
"Oh, Ranma..." Kodachi pined, resting her head on his  
shoulder as they left. Sasuke finally got the nerve to step out  
of the shadows.  
  
"Who're you?" he asked the girl.  
  
"Eh? Me?" the girl said, losing her demure manner  
instantly. "I'm Ranma Saotome, why?"  
  
"Wasn't that other boy who was here Ranma Saotome?" Sasuke  
asked.  
  
"What other boy? I just got here."  
  
"It's getting far more warped from reality with every move  
she makes..." Sasuke muttered to himself.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"Nothing. I'd better go. Thank you for your hospitality,"  
Sasuke bowed, before vanishing with his newly obtained but  
supposedly there all the time magical ninja powers.  
  
*  
  
"Oh, Ranma, you were wonderful," Kodachi smiled, hugging her  
dear tight in bed.  
  
"I aim to please. Anything for my lovely Ko-chan," Ranma  
smiled. "Did you arrange for the video of our lovemaking to be  
piped into Ukyou's cell to show her I never truly loved her the  
way I do you?"  
  
"But of course!" Kodachi smiled. "Hmmm. This reminds me.   
I'm afraid I have some business to attend to, dear."  
  
"Darn. I was about to show you the venus butterfly," Ranma  
complained.  
  
"Oh, it can wait, silly!" Kodachi laughed. "Ohohohhohho!"  
  
"I love it when you laugh."  
  
"So do I," Kodachi smiled, pulling on her luxurious new  
robes. "Be right back for more fun."  
  
With that, she blew him a kiss and headed out the door.  
  
Kunou Mansion had changed quite a bit. Most of Ranma's  
stuff had been moved in, so that he could feel right at home; and  
there wasn't a speck of dust in the entire place, now that they  
had Ukyou as a servant. She was MUCH better at domestics than  
that horrible little Sasuke man, who hadn't shown his face since  
long ago.  
  
Another addition was the dungeon. True, Kodachi always had  
her toys (and of course, Midorgame) hidden away in the basement,  
but they never had proper cells. No need for them, really. Now  
they had two nice prisoners, their new serving girl and that  
other one.  
  
The other one was behind the door Kodachi was unlocking now.   
We'd uncover her mystery soon, Kodachi thought.  
  
The girl was cowering in her disgustingly cute school  
uniform, in the back of the cell. She was always so afraid, this  
one. So weak and afraid. Of course, being tossed into a cell by  
mutant plants probably didn't help.  
  
"Hello, little girl!" Kodachi smiled, causing the girl to  
cower even more. "I'd like to just ask you a few questions, then  
you can get out of here and run to your mommy and daddy. Would  
you like that?"  
  
"Mommy's dead," the girl said.  
  
"Okay, then to your daddy, for all I care. First, the  
questions. What were you doing outside dear Kouchou-sensei's  
office?"  
  
"Waiting," the girl said.  
  
"Waiting for what?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Well, that's not very helpful, is it? What were you  
waiting for? Were you waiting to deliver a report on me? Are  
you spying on me for her? Why is she so interested in my  
behaviors outside the school?"  
  
The girl just cried. Obviously, she was traumatized in some  
way, and thus a completely useless source of information.  
  
"I suppose I won't be getting much out of you," Kodachi  
sighed. "Very well. Darlings, please escort this one off Kunou  
Mansion grounds. And dear, be a good little girl and never come  
back, okay?"  
  
The girl nodded, being lifted gently and carried away by a  
few vines. Kodachi turned and exited the cell, and was about to  
head upstairs when she noticed the second cell door... and  
smiled.  
  
Kodachi unlocked the door to Ukyou's cell and stepped  
inside. She didn't need to worry about her newest toy getting  
away; her darlings could always return strays.  
  
"So, enjoying the film?" Kodachi asked, smiling and pointing  
to the unbreakable monitor she had installed in the ceiling. "I  
hope you realize now that there's no hope for you and your...  
what do you call him? 'Ran-chan?' That's a cute name."  
  
But Ukyou wasn't behaving according to pattern. She should  
be crying her eyes out, after seeing her true love with another  
woman...  
  
"Oh, hi there!" Ukyou waved. "How are things?"  
  
"Not the least bit upset about our version of the late  
show?" Kodachi asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Oh, that," Ukyou laughed. "Well, at first. Then I  
realized I didn't have to, or rather, I was told not to worry."  
  
"Told? By whom, pray tell?"  
  
"The girl in the cell next door," Ukyou said, pointing to  
the air conditioning vent. "Sound carries."  
  
"Odd. She didn't tell me anything."  
  
"Maybe because she hates you. Me, she's more open with.   
You see, Kodachi, I don't need to worry about anything anymore,  
because this isn't really happening," Ukyou grinned.  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"It's very simple. I'm not here, and that isn't my Ran-  
chan. I don't care what you do with that boy. Engage in all  
your fantasies, I don't mind watching. He's a stranger to me."  
  
Kodachi smiled. Good, the girl had cracked! Either that,  
or she had given up on Ranma-sama. Either way, great.  
  
"I'm glad to see you're adjusting. Now, please, go clean  
the toilets. With your tongue."  
  
"Naah."  
  
"Naah?"  
  
"Naah," Ukyou repeated. "I don't have to, because this  
isn't happening. Heck, even if you killed me, no big deal! One  
less puppet in the puppet show, you know? I'll just sit here and  
stare at the wall, or watch Letterman or something. Don't mind  
me."  
  
"When I say WORK, you will WORK," Kodachi warned. "Or face  
the penalty."  
  
"No penalties can touch me," Ukyou said. "I'm not even  
here."  
  
"It's amusing that you've gone insane, dear, but it doesn't  
excuse you from work."  
  
"No," Ukyou said.  
  
"If you will not work, then you will be tortured!" Kodachi  
screamed, stamping her foot. "Darlings! Take this wretched  
being off to the rack, string her up and apply needles!"  
  
Ukyou shrugged, getting carried off. "You're only digging  
yourself deeper, Kodachi! You're going to have to stop this  
soon, before it stops you! Listen to the beeping! LISTEN TO THE  
BEEPING!"  
  
"I'll listen to your screams!" Kodachi laughed.   
"Ohohohhohohohoho. This I think I will watch."  
  
*  
  
Kodachi slumped back to her bedroom, sighing.  
  
"Problem?" Ranma asked, looking up from his copy of the kama  
sutra.  
  
"I just tortured Ukyou severely and I still don't feel any  
better," Kodachi whined. "Rub my shoulders, Ranma-sama, while I  
think of ways to entertain myself."  
  
"If you want, I can go downstairs and whip her myself,"  
Ranma suggested.  
  
"No, I think the poor girl's mind has gone. Nothing will  
bring that back. She keeps babbling on and on about stupid,  
meaningless things... it's such a shame, the inability to get  
proper labor nowadays."  
  
"Tell me about it. I could ask Kasumi. She's quite nice  
and wouldn't need any of the force you have to apply to Ukyou,"  
Ranma said.  
  
"I'll consider it," Kodachi sighed.  
  
"Something vexing you?"  
  
"I just... feel distant. Like something's missing from the  
picture."  
  
"Why? You have me," Ranma said, rubbing Kodachi's  
shoulders. "I'll do anything for you. You have your plant  
warriors, able to solve any problem for you. I'd say you have it  
made."  
  
"Oh, hai. It all went according to plan. Most of it, at  
least," Kodachi nodded. "I need more, though. Maybe we should  
move. Take over a small country, dominate it and live like  
gods?"  
  
"Sounds good to me," Ranma nodded.  
  
"It's a shame mother isn't alive to see this. How proud of  
her daughter she would be," Kodachi said.  
  
*  
  
"So that's the story, huh?" Sasuke said.  
  
"About so," the principal of St. Hebereke nodded. "You've  
been more receptive than Kodachi was. It helps that you never  
knew me as Kouchou-sensei. I thank you for returning the little  
girl to me, by the way. She really doesn't belong in this  
nightmarish world."  
  
"But in a way, she does, right? I mean, if it's all--"  
  
"Well, she belongs HERE, but I wish she didn't have to see  
this," the principal said. "So, Sasuke, what are you going to do  
now?"  
  
"The only thing I can do," Sasuke said. "Disband the ninja  
army. Destroy the headquarters and lose my political contacts.   
Get rid of everything I've built up for myself..."  
  
"Quite a loss."  
  
"If it's the only way out of this, then I'll go back to  
being the clumsy, stupid little man I was. I want my life more  
than I want this... this TWISTED version of success," Sasuke  
said. He got up, and bowed to the principal. "Thank you for  
your information."  
  
"You're a good man, Sasuke, no matter what your skill level  
or luck," the woman smiled. "If you could, there is one last  
favor I'd like to request of you."  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"I need transportation for two into the mansion," she said,  
pointing to the vine-encrusted visage of Kunou Mansion. "I need  
to stop them before it's too late for Kodachi."  
  
*  
  
Ranma and Kodachi kissed for the nth time that evening,  
after making love for the n^2th time that evening.  
  
"Do you want more, my dear?" Ranma asked.  
  
"Oh, I'm so tired..." Kodachi yawned. "I think rest is  
required now. Tomorrow, let's spend the day conquering our new  
domain of Tokyo and the evening like this. Mustn't concentrate  
too hard on one or the other."  
  
"As usual, your ideas are wonderful, Ko-chan."  
  
"Of course," Kodachi smiled, reaching for her flower.  
  
"What's that?" Ranma asked.  
  
"This is my Happy Flower," Kodachi said, petting the rose  
atop its petals. "It helps me sleep and have happy dreams."  
  
"What a wonderful idea! Can I use it too? Maybe we'll even  
have the same dream."  
  
"Certainly, Ranma-sama," Kodachi smiled, lifting the flower  
over to Ranma. He inhaled deeply, and fell back onto the pillow,  
a blissful expression on his face.  
  
Kodachi smiled. He's so adorable sleeping and prone. She  
inhaled the flower herself, and drifted away...  
  
...to nothing.  
  
Unusual. The flower always had a new, original concept  
dream waiting for her when she arrived, not a void. And where  
was Ranma-sama?  
  
Finally, the dream unfolded... hazing into her mind, drug  
taking affect as it always did. She found herself in a nice rose  
garden, divided off by crisscross wood fences, forming wonderful  
gridlike patterns of roses...  
  
But not Ranma. She wandered around, calling his name,  
wondering where he went. It's not good to spent time out in the  
rain like this... then again, it WAS a dream. Dreams can't hurt  
you.  
  
She found someone, but it wasn't Ranma.  
  
"You!" she exclaimed. The little girl, the yellow and white  
clad girl who never wanted to talk, kneeling down to examine a  
dead, black rose.  
  
The girl turned her head, looking back up at Kodachi.  
  
"What are you doing in my dreams?" Kodachi asked. "Out! I  
want to spend time with Ranma-sama, not you!"  
  
"She is you," the principal said, stepping her way around  
the rose grids. "Look at this place. Don't you recognize it?"  
  
"It's a garden," Kodachi said, shrugging. "So?"  
  
"It's the garden where you left part of yourself behind,"  
the principal said. "The part that was afraid, the part that  
loved her mother and missed her. The part that wanted to wear  
the nice clothes--"  
  
"Mommy!" the little girl cried out, running to the principal  
and hugging her. The principal patted the girl's head, motherly.  
  
"Mommy?" Kodachi gasped. "You... you... no. You're my  
principal. You are not my dead mother!"  
  
"Your real principal isn't a woman, Kodachi. Remember? Or  
have you twisted your fantasy around to accept my presence in  
your mind as something you can understand, like you twisted the  
presence of the 'pigtailed girl' around?"  
  
"I don't understand... you're dead!"  
  
"So are you," Mrs. Kunou said. "Or will be. Please,  
Kodachi, you have to wake up. Stop hurting yourself like this."  
  
"I will! My alarm clock will beep at--"  
  
"Not that!" Kodachi's mother protested. "This is your dream  
in a dream. Your world, the one where you and Ranma are  
together, the one where you've driven out or conquered all your  
rivals, that's the dream! I tried to help you understand before,  
but you couldn't... you had placed me into a position in your  
dream that you could ignore. The words of a sensei. I hoped  
maybe seeing yourself at age seven would help... she belongs  
here, in your mind, but in this dream she's even more scared than  
she was the night you lost her."  
  
"I don't... I don't understand, mom... I'm dying?" Kodachi  
asked, going pale.  
  
"It was the flower," the little girl said, getting the nerve  
to speak. "You made a way to be happy with a flower..."  
  
"But you miscalculated the drug's effectiveness. It should  
have stopped making you fantasize and draw plot lines in your  
dreams after several hours, yes?" Mother asked.  
  
"Yes! It stopped... Sasuke slapped me..."  
  
"He was caught in this shared dream as well, gaining power,  
status, and skill beyond his imagination. Both of you inhaled  
that flower. He has left now, but you remain. The drug lasts  
years, Kodachi! Not hours! And if you don't come out of it  
soon, you'll die in reality."  
  
"Why are you telling me this? I don't want to hear it!"  
Kodachi shouted. "This is my life. This is where I'm happy! So  
what if I die? If I go back the way I was, I might never have my  
Ranma-sama..."  
  
"I'm the part of you that respects life above all else,  
Kotchy," Mother said. "I'm the part that wants you to wake up.   
There will be other chances. You have to give up on your dream  
now, because it may destroy you..."  
  
"Please!" the little girl begged. "I know you don't care  
about me anymore, but I'll die too if you go! I don't want  
everybody out there to be sad. I had to calm down the puppet you  
made of Ukyou, soothe her worry by telling her what was going on,  
but I can't help anybody outside this!"  
  
"What if I don't want to stop this?" Kodachi asked. "How  
long will I have before I die? I don't want to stop it just yet,  
I have so much to do... people to see, places to conquer--"  
  
"It's not a question of how long, daughter. It's started to  
degrade already. Your mind is causing more and more  
inconsistencies to keep you happy. Vines that can reincarnate  
themselves after cooking? The vines, period, and the impossible  
DNA strand that gave you your tools to make your dream real.   
Your easy defeat of your rivals, after you've already tried so  
hard. It'll break down, getting more and more weird, until there  
isn't anything left but a tiny spark of joy, which will go out.   
Without Sasuke as a mental anchor, your dream will confuse itself  
and defy truth farther and farther--"  
  
"I don't care!" Kodachi screamed. "Go away! I want to be  
with Ranma! Get out of my DREAM!"  
  
With that, the walls of the dream started to crumble. They  
were shaky at best, but the added strain of conscious thought  
caved them in.  
  
Mother held her little girl protectively, and faced Kodachi  
for one last time. "I know you'll understand what you have to  
do, my daughter. You were always the bright one of the family.   
Just try to understand it before there is no time left..."  
  
Then came the beeping of the alarm clock, or of some other  
beep-source, Kodachi didn't care. She thrashed awake, back to  
her mansion with Ranma at her side and threw the clock hard  
enough to shatter it against the walls, silencing the beep  
forever.  
  
*  
  
"Why are we going so soon?" Ranma asked, packing a travel  
bag. "I thought we were going to conquer Japan first, then move  
on to the third world nations..."  
  
"I want to do it sooner, okay?" Kodachi said.  
  
"And this morning. We made love seventy times. Why so  
much, so soon? Don't you want to enjoy it over a longer period  
of ti--"  
  
"We might not HAVE time," Kodachi said. "We need to hurry.   
We need to go and live out our lives."  
  
"First day of the rest of your life, eh?" Ranma smiled.   
"Okay, I can understand. I have the helicopter waiting at the  
amusement park."  
  
"Amusement park?" Kodachi asked.  
  
"Come on, you know. It's the place we've been living all  
these years," Ranma said, wandering past the tilt-a-whirl. "I  
love the atmosphere... the innocent fun, betrayed by rust damage  
and vines..."  
  
"We didn't live here... or... no, we did..." Kodachi said,  
filling in the memory gap with happy memories. Memories of  
family picnics, of riding the rides, of nights under the stars  
with romance in the air and that wonderful organ music...  
  
"We should stay here," Ranma said, dropping the bag and  
holding Kodachi. "This is paradise. We don't need society, it  
can just crumble without us... to live together, in the park,  
doing as we please. Utopia."  
  
"Oh, yes..." Kodachi said, joyfully. "Cast off the world  
and live like we were the last two people on earth..."  
  
"We are, remember?" Ranma said. "They dropped the bomb, and  
this was the only place to survive?"  
  
"They did?"  
  
"Of course. It was after they arrested and executed Akane,  
Ukyou, Shampoo and the pig-tailed girl for selling plans for the  
atom bomb to those terrorists--"  
  
"Ohohohohohoho! They did get what for!" Kodachi laughed.   
"Umm. Shouldn't we be dead from radiation poisoning?"  
  
"Of course not. As an Aes Sedai, you used your powers to  
protect us and the park," Ranma said, making a sweeping arm  
gesture to the broken down funhouse, and the radioactive  
wastelands outside it. "We're alone. Nobody to bother us."  
  
"But I want SOME people! Let's go humiliate the servants  
more."  
  
"I am your servant," Ranma said, bowing. "Whatever you  
wish, I will do. If you want to humiliate me, I will enjoy the  
humiliation. Hurt me, I like it."  
  
"Hmmm... let me get my ribbon-- no, wait. There should be  
SOME people around. What of the americans and their bomb  
shelters from the 1960s?" Kodachi asked.  
  
"Oh, of course there are the survivors. Mutated and  
unworthy of being called humans," Ranma said, kicking a three-  
eyed Shampoo away. "Let's do with them as we please. Can you  
hear the music, Ko-chan?"  
  
"The music..." Kodachi breathed, listening to the pipe  
organs play, the wonderfully broken pipe organs, with the beeping  
pulse beat... "Beep?"  
  
"What beep? I hear no beeps," Ranma said.  
  
"I DISTINCTLY hear beeping..." Kodachi said, trying to find  
the direction of the noise. The world around her, her vision  
itself was pulsing with the beep... no, that was just the sun's  
solar flares from the accident with the... no, it was the bad  
lighting, it strobed a lot and wasn't anything to worry about...  
  
"It is beeping!" Kodachi said, as the world blinked on and  
off around her. She concentrated on the sound, ignoring all  
attempts by her logic center to rationalize what could be causing  
it, what could be causing the vision of herself on a hospital  
bed, hooked up to tubes and wires, while the life monitor next to  
her beeped away, slowly, beeping...  
  
Kodachi stood, horrified, at the sight that strobed in and  
out of the amusement park view. She was dying... on a bed and  
dying. Ranma was there, holding her hand, worried, as was  
brother dear... even the rivals, even Shampoo, Akane and Ukyou...  
they all looked worried.  
  
Only one of them wasn't watching Kodachi's chemically  
damaged form intently, following the beeps of her heart pulse.   
It was Sasuke, awake but in bad shape, wheeling around an IV. He  
was starting right at Kodachi, right at the dream-Kodachi that  
was watching from the sidelines.  
  
"End it now," Sasuke said. "You have to."  
  
"Ko-sama!" Ranma called, from behind her. "I have the  
picnic ready!"  
  
"NO!" Kodachi yelled, pointing to the Ranma at her hospital  
bedside. "THAT is my Ranma-sama. I don't care if you love me,  
you're a stranger to me! Get out of my head!"  
  
"You don't love me anymore?" Ranma asked, blinking. "Oh!   
Yes, your mood swings. You'll be normal in no time, according to  
the doctors that survived the bomb. Relax and take six deep  
breaths--"  
  
"It's this, isn't it?" Kodachi said, holding up her Happy  
Flower. "This is keeping me under. Well, I don't need it any  
more to sleep. In fact, it's high time I woke up!"  
  
With that, Kodachi dashed the pot against the floor,  
shattering it.  
  
The amusement park ripped itself apart, dying strands of the  
organ fading away. With every beep of her life support  
equipment, another layer was torn; the mutants left, the  
wasteland restored, the mansion back in place, Ranma gone, the  
vines shriveling up and dying--  
  
"We said we'd be back," Mousse grinned, continuing to spray  
her vines with herbicide.  
  
"We're quite lucky to have this in stock back at the  
village," Cologne nodded. "Now we can clean up this mess and go  
back to normal."  
  
"Shampoo forgive stupid girl for trying to kill because girl  
is insane," Shampoo said, helping her family and adoptive family  
kill the weeds around Tokyo. "But no try again!"  
  
"Oh, that's much better," Kodachi said. "Goodbye, stupid  
vines! You were never meant to be, anyway. Ranma! I'm back,  
Ranma! I'm not going to die!"  
  
"That's wonderful, Kodachi!" Ranma said, holding her close.   
"You're not going to die. You're safe and sound now, and I'll  
never let you get hurt again."  
  
"Thank you, Ranma-sama..." Kodachi said, melting into the  
hug.  
  
But the beeping was still there. Kodachi blinked, and  
looked behind her, back at the hospital bed where she still lay.  
  
No! She had gotten out, hadn't she? The flower was no  
more, shattered on the ground... or was it that she could never  
escape? She had to!  
  
"I don't want to die!" Kodachi yelled.  
  
"You won't, you won't," Ranma said. "Everything is fine  
now. Stop this needless worry. I'm here for you..."  
  
That's when she saw the flower, broken at her feet, pulsing  
with the beep like some parody of the human heart. It was still  
alive.  
  
With great effort, Kodachi pushed Ranma aside, and stomped  
on the flower. Something inside her head exploded, and she  
tumbled, out of the fantasy and into deeper waters still...  
  
*  
  
Kodachi's eyes opened. There was the beep, but it wasn't  
pervasive, overpowering her... it was a gentle beep, coming from  
the stack of electronic equipment to her right.  
  
"Kodachi?" Ranma said. "Kodachi? DOC! DOC, GET IN HERE!   
She's coming around!"  
  
"Ranma?" Kodachi asked. "Is this... am I really back, or am  
I still dreaming?"  
  
"I think this is reality, dear sister," Kunou said. "This  
should teach you not to be so careless with your silly little  
chemistry set. You almost fried good Sasuke's brain."  
  
"Uh, yeah," Sasuke grinned stupidly. "I'm feeling better  
now, I think. Are you okay, Kodachi-sama?"  
  
"You called to me, didn't you?" Kodachi said, propping  
herself painfully up on her elbows. "At the end, you told me to  
end it."  
  
"Huh?" Sasuke said, a look of total non-comprehension  
crossing his face.  
  
"Nevermind, Sasuke. Such concepts are above your mental  
level," Kodachi sighed. "I feel so... tired."  
  
"Well, I'm just glad you're alive now," Ranma said. "The  
whole town's been worried sick."  
  
"I thought the whole town believed me to be a freak of  
nature," Kodachi said.  
  
"Ah, but you are our freak of nature, sister," Kunou smiled.  
  
Kodachi matched the smile. "Hai. Is it safe to go back to  
sleep? I mean... I'm so tired..."  
  
"It should be fine now," Doctor Tofu said, appearing at her  
side. "Once you recover the first time, the drug shouldn't be  
strong enough to pull you back under. I'd recommend rest,  
really. Could everybody clear out of the room? My patient needs  
relaxation, not a football huddle."  
  
"Can Ranma-sama stay?" Kodachi asked.  
  
"Uhhh..." Ranma said, looking to Akane to see if she was  
about to clobber him. Akane simply shrugged, indicating that she  
didn't think it'd be a problem. Certain allowances had to be  
made for the ill.  
  
"Please, Ranma-sama?" Kodachi begged.  
  
"Alright," Ranma said. "But only until you go to sleep.   
We're all missing school, yaknow."  
  
"Okay," Kodachi said, watching the others quietly exit.  
  
"You really gotta stop fiddling with those roses and things,  
you know," Ranma said. "It's not healthy."  
  
"I'll be more careful in the future," Kodachi said. "How  
ironic, to be nearly destroyed by my lovely flowers! Ohohoho...  
ghack... *cough*. I think I should rest. Ranma-sama?"  
  
"Uh, hai?" Ranma said, shifting uncomfortably at the -sama  
tag.  
  
"I gave up having you until the end of my days so I could  
have you here. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do... I  
just thought you'd like to know that."  
  
"Okay," Ranma said, not understanding one bit but still  
smiling. "Pleasant dreams, Kodachi."  
  
"Dreams," she said, "Are the last thing I want right now."  
  
She drifted into sleep, a silent sleep without images,  
without sounds. Someone even came in to turn off the beeper.  
  
*  
  
"Mother?" Kodachi said aloud, despite the fact that nobody  
nearby was alive to hear her say it.  
  
It was the first time she had ever visited Nerima's  
graveyard, the first time she had been within this many feet of  
her mother since the day she died. But Kodachi felt strong  
enough to visit now, despite Doctor Tofu's warnings about rest  
and relaxation.  
  
"I want to thank you, mother, for helping me," Kodachi  
continued. "Even if it was probably just a symbol drudged up by  
my hallucination... if it was you, you deserve thanks. And I'm  
sorry I forgot all about you. I can grieve now, I think."  
  
Nobody replied. Kodachi wasn't expecting a reply, but still  
found the silence eerie.  
  
"Well, that's all," Kodachi shrugged. "I mean, not much  
else to say. Ranma and I are going on a date today... I know  
he's just doing it out of pity, and at major protest from my  
rivals, but a date is a date. I couldn't have it without you.   
So... thanks."  
  
With that, she dropped two roses on the grave; one black,  
one red. She bowed in respect, and headed back towards the road,  
twirling her ribbon around her as she walked.  
  
A little girl in a cheery yellow and white uniform wanted to  
add a second rose to the grave, and she had.  
  
-=-  
  
Author's postscript.  
  
This is probably the darkest Ranma story I've written since  
Juyza's Lyric. Hey, I don't mind, gotta have some variety. I  
did the whole thing in about a day and a half, which proves that  
when I've got a good idea I can really roll, and the rest of the  
time I get to stare at a blank WordPerfect screen and beg for  
something to come out.  
  
Okay, notes, let's see...  
  
'A sword has a point. Do you?' was a phrase used by Orlando  
de la Cruz once. I take no credit for that. Go read some of his  
fanfic, it's great.  
  
I'd like to thank the few of you who replied to my posting  
of Elseworlds #4. The responses I get for these stories really  
make them worth writing. If you can't be paid in legal tender,  
e-mail is the next best substitute.  
  
I'd like to thank the crews from BakaMUCK and Amush,  
including Stoner, the goddesses plus Keiichi-san and of course  
the Ranma cast. It's a lovely way to pass the time, crashes or  
no crashes.  
  
Thanks go out to Jenny Gagne, my sister, for the cool-beans  
title. I considered 'Make a Little Greenhouse in Your Soul' and  
'In Bloom' but not good pun-title really fit the mood of the  
story. She came up with that in under two minutes. Frightening.   
Cool, but frightening.  
  
That's about it. Thank you, drive through.  
  
Stefan Gagne  
Gaithersburg, MD  
August 11th, 1995  
  
  
- 'This isn't Psych 101, lady.'  
Little Julie, _The Maxx_  
 


End file.
